Posted on

Tink nearly had an epic Thanksgiving.

The Best Parents Ever came up for T-day, and once again Daniel managed to pull off an amazing meal. I did make the cranberry sauce – I am a cranberry sauce purist, using sugar, water, and cranberries. None of your exotic spices for this lady, thanks.

Anyway, we all ate until we were stuffed and everyone who wanted some turkey got some, although in Tink’s case she apparently felt we were being much too slow in delivering the goods because while the human contingent was RIGHT THERE stuffing its faces, Tinks reached up onto the counter, grabbed the nearest bit of turkey carcass, and tried to make off with it.

Rapid intervention by the consternated monkeys meant that she did no more than dump the accumulated Turkey juice all over the cabinet and floor, which we in our magnanimity allowed her to clean up. Well, really, why WOULD I have dogs if I wanted to clean that kind of thing up myself? It’s much easier to just wipe up the dog spit afterward. After our meal, the dogs got turkey, roasted potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, roasted carrots, and cranberry sauce in their bowls. They all thought that was pretty good except Sid, who did NOT like the cranberry sauce. In fact he moved his roasted potato out of his bowl to eat it so he didn’t have to risk his tongue touching the cranberry sauce after his first experimental lick of it.

Today the chickens will get their own feasting in the form of all the vegetable discards, while the rest of us eat turkey and trimmings until we are sick of them. Not that dogs ever get sick of turkey, thank goodness, otherwise we’d never dispose of it all. I feel like I should be doing something productive but I’m not going anywhere NEAR the shopping areas today and I’ve exhausted myself giving Tink and Beo a bath, so I think I’ll just continue to lounge about indolently and enjoy the second of my four days off from work.

Posted on

Another Dog Song

With apologies to citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland (including my patient husband).

God save our gracious Tink
Long live our noble Tink
God save our Tink
Send her victorious,
Mad-teething, glorious
Long to reign o’er us
God save our Tink.

O Tinkerbelle, arise
Scatter your enemies
And make them fall
Mad teeth their slobb’ry licks
Bark at their knavish tricks
On thee our hopes we fix
God save us all! [You have to get the desperation right on this line — A.]

The choicest bones in store
On her we’re pleased to pour
Long may she reign!
May she defend her toys
From Shedder girls and boys
While we sing with heart and voice
God save our Tink!

Not on the chair alone
But be Tink’s bed claims known
From room to room!
Tink’s marv’lous snarling shows
Bone-stealers face her blows
Just leave her things alone
Or meet your doom!

From thieving, hairy foes
From sneaky feline blows
God save our Tink!
O’er her thine arm extend
For our hearts’ sakes defend
Our mad-teethed Queen, and friend
God save our Tink.

(I told you it was slow around here.)

Posted on

Do you sing to dogs?

I sing to dogs and cats, actually. Usually I modify an existing song, and each critter has a signature song. So naturally I’ve been casting around for a song for Sid. I even make sure the Sydney house sitters I hire do the same to my dogs.

I apologize to all the Beatles fans out there (like my husband).

Siddy has a dorkface in the morning.
Siddy has a dorkface in the night.
Siddy has a dorkface in the afternoon.
He has a dorkface if it’s cloudy or it’s bright.

Ob la dee ob la da Sid’s a dorkface!
La la la la dorkface dog!
Ob la dee ob la da Sid’s a dorkface!
La la la la dorkface dog!

Siddy has a dorkface when he’s crated.
Siddy has a dorkface when he’s free.
Siddy has a dorkface in the backyard.
He’s got a dorkface when he’s leaning on my knee.

Ob la dee ob la da Sid’s a dorkface!
La la la la dorkface dog!
Ob la dee ob la da Sid’s a dorkface!
La la la la dorkface dog!

Siddy has a dorkface when he’s sitting.
He has a dorkface when he’s lying on the floor.
Siddy has a dorkface when he’s standing up.
He has a dorkface when he’s waiting at the door.

Ob la dee ob la da Sid’s a dorkface!
La la la la dorkface dog!
Ob la dee ob la da Sid’s a dorkface!
La la la la dorkface dog!

Ob la dee ob la da Sid’s a dorkface!
La la la la dorkface dog!
Ob la dee ob la da Sid’s a dorkface!
La la la la dorkface dog!

Posted on

Musket says dogs are carnivores.

We spent a hilarious 20 minutes the other night trying to feed Musket green beans. Our dogs love green beans, so when we had some for dinner I was of course handing them out to dogs. At first, Musket would only sniff at it, eyes wide with horror, while the other dogs jockeyed to get the green bean that he was manifestly not eating. Then, deciding it was terribly important to the people that he take this appalling object, he would curl his lips back and take the green bean with this front teeth with utmost delicacy before dropping it on the floor.

Eventually, after we kept trying to convince him to eat a green bean, he took one to his crate and buried it in his blanket. Further attempts to convince him that this was actually a tasty treat did convince him to actually bite into one, at which he looked even more horrified and immediately spat it out on the floor, where one of the other dogs promptly grabbed it.

It really was funny, because you could see his desire to be a Good Dog warring with his deep, deep horror of the innocent green bean. In the end, we stopped persecuting him with strange vegetables, lest he tell Christine that we abused him. I expect he’ll be more excited about his portion of Thanksgiving turkey. Still, Entertainment!Puppy continues to be entertaining. He really is a hell of a dog, and I keep thinking “if only I did not work so much…”

Posted on

Sometimes I am mean to dogs, redux.

So I’ve had a stressful couple of days for no good reason really, things have actually been going pretty well but EVERY LITTLE THING just drives me nuts. In an effort to cheer myself up, I played dress-up with Tink.

And then I read this interview with Cherie Priest wherein she speculates on casting for a Boneshaker movie.

And then I accidentally captioned a picture and it’s totally not my fault you guys, I swear.

Can I just note that Tink is a really tolerant and patient dog when cheese is involved?

Tink the fawn doberman stares dubiously at the camera.  She is wearing Doggles, the lens over her blind eye smoked and the one over her good eye clear, and a slouch hat.  The caption reads 'Hay Cherie!  I iz steampunk enuff for part in Boneshaker movee?'

Posted on

Sometimes I am mean to dogs.

At 0820 this morning, amid a discussion of why my mother had stickers in her purse, I stuck one that says “BRILLIANT!” on Zille’s nose.

It is now 1150. She is still wearing the sticker. I don’t have the heart to take it away from her at this point.

Edited to add: She kept the sticker on her nose until around 1600 when my friend C arrived bringing Nike, a dog Zillekins grew up with. Such was the excitement at being re-united with her buddy, she knocked her sticker off on the fence.

Zille, a sable German Shepherd, regards the camera with bright curiosity and attentiveness.  On her velvety black muzzle, about halfway between her nose and eyes, is a white sticker.  You can't see that it says 'BRILLIANT!' and has a lightning bug on it in the picture, but it does.