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Eat Like The Nobility: Memories of J

So Miss May gives us about 3 quarts of milk a day. This maybe doesn’t sound like a lot if your house features several kids who like milk, but for two adults it’s more than plenty. This leads to me getting creative with the milk, because with such a surplus there’s no harm in experimenting, and it won’t go to waste — if nothing else, we can compost it and use it to grow nommy vegetables.

My latest Dairy Experiment had people looking at me funny when I brought it up, but when they actually tasted it they were forced to agree that it was pretty divine. It reminds me of my friend J, not only because she took me out for ice cream when I visited her, but because she has this perfect voice when she wants to: low, smooth, and soothing. I am pretty sure that J could convince me that it’s perfectly fine for rabid weasels to gnaw my leg off, because that’s what kind of voice it is. She can turn this amazing vocal apparatus on and off at the drop of a hat, going from “don’t mind those rabid weasels” to expressively joking about how the rabid weasels are coming for you. Actually generally she’s just a pretty amazing person. But her Don’t Mind The Weasels voice reminds me of chocolate. Also, she knows where to find the best ice cream ever.

You’ll need an ice cream maker and:

3c fresh experimental goat cheese, made from two gallons of fresh goat milk and 1 packet fromage blanc starter & 1 packet chevre starter. If you can’t get this, you can substitute cream cheese.
2c or so fresh goat milk. If you don’t have your own goat, you may substitute half and half from the store. Or heavy cream. Ice cream is NOT the time to worry about your cholesterol levels, ok?
3/4c white cane sugar
1tsp vanilla extract
1c cocoa

Mix the 3c of cheese with milk until you get a smooth, kinda but not really liquidy texture. I tried doing this in my blender. My blender now hates me and I ready to check magic bullet vs nutribullet. Unless you have a heavy-duty blender, you should do this in a bowl with a spatula, instead. Once you have a nice smooth kinda but not really liquidy texture from your dairy products, go ahead and fold in the sugar, vanilla, and cocoa. Mix well. Adjust the texture one last time with any last-minute additions of liquid milk.

Then stuff as much of the mixture as will fit into your ice cream maker, and leave it there until it becomes a delicious smooth creamy chocolatey amazing frozen treat. While you’re waiting, eat the leftovers that didn’t fit in the ice cream maker with a spoon, or possibly use them to ice some cupcakes if you happen to have any naked cupcakes sitting around.

Wait for the heat index to climb into triple digits, break out your amazing treat, and enjoy. I suggest having it for dinner, because that’s the kind of carefree life I lead, what with not having children to raise.

PS — TomorrowThursday the goats will make the call on the Soap Giveaway. Did you tell me which soap of Kate’s you’d like to try, yet? You have 2036 hours to get your entry in! (Edited because I realize I’d said the goats would pick on the 26th, leaving entries open through the 25th)

5 thoughts on “Eat Like The Nobility: Memories of J

  1. I replied to the soap post but it still says my comment is awaiting moderation? I can see everybody else’s comments..

    1. I thought I had gotten everything out of moderation, it is fixed now!

  2. that sounds beyond delicious.

  3. Having actually eaten this after making weird faces at the thought, I must concur, it’s really freaking tasty.

  4. Given the cosmic flavor of the goat truffles you brought to WisCon, I’m ready to eat your goaty anything.

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