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Answering Googled Questions

“What happens if an Eastern Box Turtle bites you?”

Really? Someone is seriously googling this? Look, if you have been bitten by an Eastern Box Turtle, it is because you stuck your finger in front of its face and waited, patiently, sometimes for hours, until the turtle un-boxed and saw your finger, and then you wiggled your finger enticingly, like a worm, and got bitten.

All right, maybe I’m exaggerating, but not by much. C’mon, guys, they are turtles. It is true that turtles can move pretty freaky fast when they want to, but it’s still not as fast as human reflexes. An EBT, unlike a snapping turtle, cannot reach its own sides with its mouth. All you have to do is keep your fingers behind its front legs and you are going to be totally safe.

But if, for some reason, you thought it was a brilliant idea to stick your finger in a box turtle’s mouth, clean it out really well and keep an eye on it for infection. EBTs will eat carrion when given the chance and most reptile mouths are kind of a cesspit of bacteria. So once the turtle lets go (this may take a while) you are at risk for infection.

One thought on “Answering Googled Questions

  1. Hahahahhahahahaha gigglesnort. Although I had a red eared slider that bit the *hell* out of the middle of my hand when I was feeding him worms. His aim sucked. I learned to use chopsticks though.

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