Posted on

In which I answer Googled questions.

Some explicit, some implicit.

To the mysterious person who got here googling “small ww2 fighter aircraft” in quotes just like that, I am so sorry. You were probably not looking for the story of my epic battle with a horsefly but there you go. There are much worse things you could have ended up reading!

To the person who was looking for “what is the best time of year to return a pet box turtle to the wild” the answer is “There probably is not one, but if there is, this is definitely not it.” If you have a pet box turtle, please don’t just turn the little goober loose. They are highly dependent on living in a familiar area to find food, water, and the good hiding spots. Furthermore, if you release a box turtle into the wild, you may be releasing disease and/or parasites into the local wild population that did not exist before. I have assumed throughout that we’re talking about a box turtle that is native to the area in the first place, if it isn’t then NEVER EVER EVER let it loose. Ever. In a million billion years. At any rate, if you cannot keep your pet box turtle, the best thing to do is to find a turtle rescue who can either take the turtle in or help you place the small scaley stalker in an appropriate home. Once you’ve snagged that turtle out of the wild, it is your responsibility. Be kind and do the right thing.

To the person looking for “asimina triloba stink”: my pawpaws are too small to flower, but I am assured that their blossoms smell like rotting meat in order to attract carrion flies, which they depend on for pollination. Supposedly the smell is not terribly strong, which means that pawpaws often have a low fruit yield due to poor pollination. You can improve your fruit yield by hand-pollinating your tree, or by hanging meat in its branches to rot and attract flies. Or, y’know, you could take your chances. Your call. Either way, I wouldn’t plant pawpaws too close to the house, just in case.

To the person Googling “sable Doberman”: there aren’t any. Dobermans come in four colors: black, red, blue, and fawn. The fawn ones are prettier. Don’t tell Beowulf I said that.

To the person who looked for “will a turtle die if left on its back”: yes, yes it will. If it cannot turn itself over (and usually they can’t, although they will try), then the turtle will die an excruciatingly slow death from dehydration, starvation, and inability to regulate its temperature by walking to a better spot. Do not leave turtles on their backs.

To the person who wondered “is asimina triloba invasive?”: Only if you live outside its native range. In most of the United States and even into southern Canada, it is a lovely native species that will provide you with snacks in the form of pawpaw fruits.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.