Way, way back when I first started talking to Daniel and was telling him about the Usual Suspects, he made a joke about Rooney I didn’t get, asking if I’d named him after the football player. He then had to explain to me who Wayne Rooney is.
So anyway the World Cup of SoccerFootball is going on and oh, hey, the UK and US are playing each other tomorrow but anyhow, there is a sudden explosion of Wayne Rooney merchandise in the marketplace. Spying the licensed replica jerseys with “ROONEY” on the back inspired me to lament that I could not find them in sizes small enough for my adorable Roo, who would really LIKE his own superstar athletic jersey, especially over here where he’s the only Rooney most people know. They’d think he was a famous Manchester United player!
Tonight my attempt to go to bed has been briefly interrupted by a few adrenaline-inspired moments when the dogs swore to me that the Zombie Apocalypse had come. I decided to spend my time waiting for my heart rate to subside poking around to see if I could, in fact, find gear for Roo, and I think I have found it.
Dear Internets: Rooney Lee needs this shirt, y/y? It’s even got the cross of St. George on there, the symbol of Roo’s ancestral homeland (Cornish Rex cats come from Cornwall), and a welcome to his new person when Daniel finally gets over here. If I still like it this much in the morning then screw it, I’m spending $18 on a shirt for my cat.
 WHEN SOME OF MY CO-WORKERS FOUND OUT I WAS ENGAGED, THEY ACTUALLY ASKED ME IF DANIEL KNEW ABOUT THE DOGS AND CATS. SERIOUSLY, THEY ASKED ME THIS. I CANNOT SHUT UP ABOUT THEM FOR MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES AND THEY THINK I SOMEHOW MANAGED TO GET TO KNOW A GUY WELL ENOUGH TO GET ENGAGED WITHOUT ME BRINGING UP THE USUAL SUSPECTS APPROXIMATELY 800 TIMES A DAY? REALLY?
 HE IS NAMED AFTER CONFEDERATE CAVALRY GENERAL WILLIAM HENRY FITZHUGH “ROONEY” LEE. WHEN HE IS BEING ESPECIALLY HORRIBLE, I DO IN FACT ADDRESS HIM BY HIS ENTIRE NAME, WHICH UNFORTUNATELY GIVES ROO TIME TO GET AWAY BEFORE I CAN SEEK RETALIATION FOR E.G. HIS TAPDANCING ON MY HEAD ROUTINE.
 THE ANSWER IF YOU DON’T WANT TO CLICK TO WIKIPEDIA: SOME GUY WHO IS REALLY GOOD AT KICKING A BALL AROUND, WHO IS ALSO NOT NEARLY AS HANDSOME AND ADORABLE AS MY ROONEY LEE.