The scene: Manor of Mixed Blessings, approximately 0315. Your humble narrator is asleep on the futon in the living room (in case Tink needed an emergency potty trip).
Roo: Huh? Are we awake?
Me: We’re not awake. What do you want, Zille?
Zille: I has a ball.
Roo: I has a hungry.
Tink: I was asleep.
Beowulf: Are there squirrels?
Me: Zille, honey, what time is it?
Zille: Fetchy time. Obviously. I has a ball.
Me: *reaches for cell phone, looks at time*
Me: Oh hell no. It’s freakin just past 3am.
Zille: That’s fetchy time. Look, a ball, I has one.
Me: Fetchy time doesn’t occur until 0800 at least.
Zille: My ball, let me show you it.
Roo: Why did a ball just land on my head? I’m hungry. And cold.
Me: I’m keeping this ball.
Zille: Throw the ball.
Zille: But I love you. I love you a lot.
Me: OMG DOG SPIT ON MY EYEBALL.
Zille: Fetchy time?
Roo: Breakfast time?
Tink: I gotta go outside.
Me: Oh, dammit. We were doing so well.
They win, I got out of bed. Although I spited them (spote them?) by going back to bed once they came in from the group potty trip.