31 August, 2011

The first rule of dog training is…

…we don’t talk about dog training.

Actually, this is a blatant lie. Chapter 1, verse 1 of the Dog Training Bible says “Yea, verily I say unto thee, whenever two or more dog trainers are gathered together there shall be discussion of theory, yea, and talk of paraphernalia[1], and lo, at least two shall come unto blows over whether it is better to free-shape a behavior or lure it.” Dog people who like to train cannot stop talking about dog training. We even talk about dog training to people who are not at all interested in dogs. Some of us lie in bed at night dreaming up tricks to teach our chickens.

Not that I do that, or anything.

No, the first rule of dog training, at least dog training the way I do it, is this: the reward has to be meaningful. The corollary to this rule is that it is the student who gets to decide what is meaningful. A lot of people fall down on this one because many, many dogs are really easy to motivate and reward with food, but their people say “I don’t want to use treats to train him, because then he’s always working for the treats.” And to these people I want to say, “What would you say if your boss came to you one day and said, ‘You know, I don’t like giving you money, because I feel like you’re working for the money rather than love of your job. So I’m just not going to pay you anymore, but instead every Friday will give you a hearty handshake and my sincere thanks.’?” Personally, in that situation I would say “Let me just go clean out my desk and get out of your hair” because while my job is pleasant enough, it is not in fact so pleasant I would do it just to make my boss happy.

So, you know, if you’re going to ask a dog to do something like a down-stay, which requires a lot of ignoring more interesting things to do and possibly ignoring them while lying on a surface that is not nearly as comfy as somewhere a dog would choose to lie, then at least in the early stages you need to really make it worth your dog’s while.

Step one, therefore, in my training relationship with my dogs, is figuring out what my dogs want. Zille wants you to throw the fetchy ball most of all, but if there is no fetchy ball she will work for cheese. Beowulf and Tinkerbelle really, really, really want the cheese although Tink will also work for tuggy and Beowulf, weirdo that he is, will perform minor behaviors for a fondle of his ears and a stroke of his head. Cheese is a work horse of dog trainers; many people use string cheese but I have had the best results with the cheapest sharp cheddar I could buy at the grocery store in a big block, cut up into bits. Hot dog bits are another perennial favorite, as are bits of tuna and other stinky things.

All of the preceding post is just a way of working up to telling you that Sid is the weirdest dang dog I have worked with. He will work for cheese, don’t get me wrong, and also hot dog bits, chicken bits, freeze-dried liver, kibble, and a game of tug. But he works for these things diffidently, they don’t really put him in the game. No, what is really meaningful to him as a reward is something I discovered by accident: Quaker rice cakes, in white cheddar flavor. For these he goes all cross-eyed and dork-faced and tries his best to remember what he’s actually supposed to be doing right now. I break them up into bits and parcel them out to him a few puffed grains of rice at a time, getting my fingers covered in cheesy-flavored powder which he licks off with the air of a wine connoisseur finishing off a particularly good bottle, a sublime concentration and enjoyment.

I have NO clue whatsoever what it is about these rice cakes that he adores so, but hey. They’re relatively cheap and they work, so I guess I will not complain. He’s still a weirdo, though.

Also I am betting that the dog people out there are bouncing up and down because I know, I know, y’all have tales of dogs who would only work for something equally weird, if not weirder, than white cheddar rice cakes. Bring on your dog (and cat and chicken and elephant) stories.

[1] Seriously, I love dog stuff. I have, at last count, four different models of clicker. One of them has an integrated telescoping targeting stick. I have leashes beyond number, collars beyond counting. Tink has a wardrobe that rivals my own, there are the bowls and the toys and the bones and the beds. And the blankets. I am never happier than when I discover a fantastic new piece of dog gear, and having a service dog has opened up WHOLE NEW CATEGORIES.

30 August, 2011

Feral Cats in My Bathroom

We are really hoping this is it for a while. The only cats remaining outside who come to eat here are a) really, really feral and b) toms so the odds of anyone else coming up who is in need of assistance and a new home are slim. Well, until the next [redacted] drops an intact female cat out here, anyway.

But I thought y’all might like a few pics.
Becket, a freakin GINORMOUS orange tomcat, and Briar Rose, a petite grey and yellow and white calico, share a kitty bed.  Briar Rose is curled up in a neat and lady-like manner, while Becket sprawls on his back against the wall with his legs in the air.
Here you can see that these feral cats are very stressed and terrified at being indoors.

A close-up of Becket's beautiful face, upside down because he is not cooperative.  It shows off the lovely creamy color on his chin and throat, the darker orange of his stripes, and the adorable black freckles on his lips.
Becket would not straighten up and act right. If you are in need of a Big Orange Tomcat who is formerly feral and will take some time and energy on your part to turn into an ideal house companion, get in touch please. He is definitely a project cat. Although we’ve had 100% litter box use since we took the little house bed out, I can’t guarantee that he won’t need work on that front. He certainly needs help learning to use his claws appropriately, which is to say “Not for climbing people legs while those people are trying to go pee.” Becket is not a cat to be taken in lightly, but on the plus side he is SO FULL OF LOVE, oh my goodness. This cat wants to cuddle. He wants to be petted. He wants to be with you, doing whatever you are doing, and what you are doing had better involve petting a cat. Because he loves you. A lot.

He gets his initial vetting on Thursday — FIV/FeLV test, rabies and distemper vax. Then when it’s time to go back for his distemper booster, he will also get The Big Snip.

A close-up of Briar Rose's beautiful multi-colored face, with yellow and grey and white and also possibly a wound or something below her right eye.
Beautiful Briar Rose. We’re not actually sure what is going on with her right eye there, she is not all that averse to having us blot it with toilet paper but does not want us leaning in close to peer at it. She’s got her initial vetting appointment for tomorrow, so that’s all right. Dr. Greg or Dr. Andi can piss her off peering at her face, and if there’s antibiotics needed I instructed Daniel to ask for them to be injected because I don’t like pilling cats who have teeth!

29 August, 2011

I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you…

Can I take a minute to be mildly serious? Sure? You guys are the best gentle readers, seriously.

So anyway I was reading Dog Is My Co-Pilot, which is a collection of essays by Dog People of various types, and one of the authors made a comment about being a service dog handler — said it was “humbling in the best possible way.” And you know, nobody elected me Spokesperson For All Handlers Everywhere; for one thing if they were electing a spokesperson they probably would not want someone who has a tendency to swear like a sailor (hey, I was one!) when she gets frustrated. Also probably someone not quite so covered in dog and cat hair, with the odd bit of chicken fluff stuck to her. Spokespeople are supposed to look respectable, after all.

But I digress. I read that bit, and I thought, “I wonder if this person is a service dog handler.” I mean, I don’t know. Maybe she is, and that is how she experiences her relationship with her working dog. Maybe she has friends who are handlers, who have expressed to her that they experience their relationship with their service dogs. Like I said, I don’t know — not about her disability status or her SD handler status or any of it.

What I do know is that in terms of my relationship with my service dog, she got it totally wrong in every conceivable way.

Let me tell you a little bit about my disability, so you have the background. I have chronic pain and balance issues, which looks short and simple there on the page. The reality is, you know that one time? When you did a LOT of physical labor maybe, or took your workout a lot farther than you were ready for, or your first week or so in boot camp? Remember not that evening, but the next day, when you woke up and tried to get out of bed and every muscle in your body screamed a protest and it took you forever to be able to move without screaming/crying/swearing a lot (according to your particular temperament)? That’s what the phrase “chronic pain” covers. That day. Only it’s every day. The balance issues are like being out to sea again with the Navy, underway at about 25 knots at sea state 4. For those of you who have never been stationed on a destroyer, it may help if I tell you that when we first started having the earthquake last week, I thought it was me.

When I use a cane to compensate for the balance issues, I feel as if I’m creeping along, feeling my way through a world that is not steady. I have to tilt myself toward the cane, lest I wobble away from it. I can gimp along at a pretty respectable speed, but I’m always kind of watching where my feet are going.

When I’m with Sid, I can fly. We become, on the best days, a strange six-legged beast with one working vestibular system between us. He’s still young, still learning, but generally sharp as a tack. I can walk upright, because when I wobble toward him he moves closer to get under me, and when I wobble away, he moves out to pull me back into straight. He watches our feet so I don’t have to, so I am head up and walking tall through the world.[1] My posture is actually better, working with Sid, than it is with a cane or ever was walking on just my own feet. He provides a dose of momentum, something for me to brace against, which obscurely makes it easier to walk.

And, of course, he is my ever-present partner in crime. We share a laugh in a look, we have small disagreements[4], we discuss the route to take and say thank you to each other. We like to sit in the sunshine and people-watch. When I am having horrible vertigo and sitting down, he will obligingly lay his front end across my lap, steadying me. He gives me beautiful smiles as we walk together, partners together in the world. We are joyful about the fact that we’re together, we have each other, him watching out for me and me making sure that we don’t cross pavement that will burn his paws and that doors don’t shut on his tail.

I am not humbled by working with Sid. Instead, I am freed by it — I go fast! I walk at speeds I walked at back before all the pain and the vertigo, and I do it safely and without fear of falling. It is joyful and joyous and liberating and far, far from humbling me — it lifts me up.

[1] This is not infallible. Today at Walmart he walked me into a 5 gallon bucket. Twice. He took me around it each time on the reattempt, but still. I suspect it was revenge-motivated because I would not let him steal the “Caution Wet Floor” sign on our way in[2]. Today was not, as you might have gathered, our best day.

[2] Yes I know it probably wasn’t. But it’s funnier that way. Bear with me. I did let him “steal” a toy from PetCo later to make up for my cruelty at Walmart, mostly because I am trying to get him accustomed to carrying things in his mouth while in harness so he can carry my gun.[3]

[3] I’m kidding. And I’ll stop footnoting now.

[4] I lied about the footnoting thing. There was this one time when we went to a wine tasting with Daniel and Daniel’s sister R. I tasted eleven wines and two flavors of wine slushie, and our pourer was very generous, giving us 1/4 to 1/3 a glass at a time. Coming out, Sid refused to take me the shortest way to the car, which involved walking across grass, and instead stuck to the sidewalk. And then when I asked him to speed up, he gave me a look that loosely translated to “No, you idiot.” Or possibly, “Have you been taking drugs your doctor did NOT prescribe?”

28 August, 2011

I would like a slightly less interesting life.

So. Earthquake last Tuesday which did nothing more than cosmetic damage to the Manor, hallelujah. Although the town of Mineral, VA was hit REALLY hard — NPR was reporting that four homes were destroyed and 200 took at least moderate damage. Given that in the 2000 census, there were only 196 homes in Mineral, I suspect that pretty much every home in town was touched.

Then, of course, Hurricane Irene. She passed by the Manor at her closest point of approach last night. Late in the afternoon we got all the silkies but two into dog crates in the shed. One refused to be caught but since he had the sense to go into the chicken house and stay dry and warm, we weren’t that worried. One, Amon, was in something of a bad way — borderline hypothermic from not having the sense to go in and dry off and being a small pullet, so she came in the house to spend the night under a heat lamp. She’ll get a bath later and more time inside to dry off before she moves back home, since she hasn’t preened herself back to fluffy respectability yet. But she’s looking brighter and more interested in the world, so that’s all right.

We also brought both Briar Rose and Becket (the ginormous orange tom who has decided that being feral isn’t all that much fun compared to getting love and gooshyfud from thumb monkeys) into the bathroom, and they’ll be staying inside to get vetted. Briar Rose has a home lined up already but Becket does not. He needs someone who understands about formerly feral cats and letting them do things at their own pace — my friend Steph would be a perfect home for him so really I just need to convince her. I think she’s softening up but comments of support and celebration that she has a new cat might be helpful. Well, so would a home where someone wants Becket but doesn’t need convincing.

We were supposed to be in Philadelphia this weekend delivering Coriander to her new home, but Irene rather threw a spike into that. So that’s all been pushed to next weekend, and we have kittens for another week (we’re dropping off Constantine en route to Philly).

And then hopefully life will settle down into more of an autumn routine vice this non-stop stream of excitement. A girl can dream, anyway.

23 August, 2011

So we had an earthquake.

We’re all fine here, no one was hurt and nothing fell over in the house but a Pez dispenser. Nonetheless I’m going to be calling a building inspector to check out the house because there’s cracks in the foundation and I can’t remember if they were there before or not, and there’s definitely spaces that have appeared between the boards in the siding that weren’t there before.

The epicenter was 30-40 miles south of the Manor and I’m hearing reports from friends further south that some houses were pretty much destroyed. Meanwhile, some people on the west coast apparently think it’s hilarious when people get scared after a once in a century event that destroys homes. I can’t tell you how deeply angry and disgusted I am with that kind of response. We don’t build for earthquakes here; the last one this big was in 1897.

I’m pretty scared myself, because if there was significant damage to the house we’re potentially looking at a second mortgage to repair it. Fingers are crossed that the damage was only cosmetic and we can patch it up with some caulk and some paint. Of course, I guess being scared of what kind of damage to my totally not-earthquake-ready home might have been done makes me a big wuss worthy of being mocked, right? Right? It’s just hi-freakin-larious.

Right.

22 August, 2011

Help Shelter Pets, also you want a kitten, right? RIGHT?

1) My friend Julie Madison does kickass portraits of pets. And now through the 31st, 20% of her sales will go to Saving Shelter Pets, Inc. So go on, hit up Julie’s Etsy Shop and pick up a portrait of your favorite beast. I should totally scan in the one of Zille she did at our wedding reception, because if you could just see what she did with our little guest book card and a cheap ballpoint pen, you’d be all “MUST PAY THIS WOMAN TO DRAW THINGS FOR ME.” There’s also Serious Cats in Silly Hats that are absolutely fabulous. You need some.

2) Speaking of things you need, KITTENS. Are you in the vicinity of Eastern Tennessee or environs? Kate has two kittens what need homes. You, too, could get an adorable kitten delivered to your doorstep!

In more personal news, I am about to move seven baby silkies outside, since they are feathered out enough to withstand the rigors of a Virginia late summer. The weather here has been really balmy and lovely, which is of course going to change as soon as I trust baby chickens to the rigors of the great outdoors. But this will get seven of the eleven chickens in the house OUT of it, and let the two baby Sumatras and Melchior move into the Big Brooder. Meanwhile Zombirella, the victim of a vicious head-pecking, is doing fantastically and we’re optimistic about integrating her with the flock again in a few weeks before she starts laying eggs in her crate in my room.

20 August, 2011

Things one rarely considers.

This morning I spent a bunch of time sitting in the bantam pen getting eaten alive by bugs and petting chickens. It’s a very peaceful place to hang out, because the little guys just sort of welcome you into the flock and go about their business in a way our big chickens do not. The ones that are highly interactive and friendly come over for a pet, and Belphegor the beloved kept asking to be picked up so I would rub his neck and while I was rubbing his neck, he would fall asleep in my hand, legs dangling.

17 August, 2011

Must try to get back into this blogging thing…

…as I sit here in the morning with the House Chickens cheeping at me, the babies in high tones and Zombirella does a sort of pleasing alto purr. The baby silkies in the big brooder are about ready to go outside, actually, and I think I may bug Daniel into helping me build a second apex-style pen and house this weekend so we can move Merlin and his ladies out of the big pen — we’ve picked up six ladies for him, so there will definitely be little stripey chickens next year — and move these guys in the house out of it.

That will open up the big brooder for the little Sumatras and Melchior, which will clear the little brooder off my desk and let me set up my new serger and maybe even my sewing machine.

Somewhere in there, I must do more training with my Official Service Dog In Progress (OSDIP!) and oh yeah, next week classes start, although I’m only taking the one class this fall. It’s American Sign Language 101 and Daniel and I are taking it together, which hopefully means I will hang onto more of it because I can do things like refuse to communicate with my husband using spoken English. He’s going to be thrilled, I’m sure…

I still have an indigo vat to set up, too, but first I need to scour the cotton scarves I got to dip in it — no rest for the wicked, really, and everything I want to do spirals into a huge pile of MUST DO ALL THE THINGS until it’s a wonder I get anything accomplished.

16 August, 2011

Busy times all over! Also, wanna help a kitten?

We went up to Ikea to get a new mattress this past Sunday and I made Siddy work. He was freakin brilliant — handled the crowds with aplomb, stayed right next to me, never got too stressed to respond to a click and always took the treats and ate them thoughtfully. He’s really shaping up quite nicely I think.

In chicken world, there has been some excitement. One and Three moved out to a segregated portion of the Big Chicken Pen, but Three at some point got out and lost a sizeable chunk of skin off the back of her head. One consult with the vet and some expensive antibiotics later, she’s living indoors in our largest cat carrier to heal up and doing quite well. Also we have been calling her Zombirella, because the back of her head really did look that bad. Here’s a pic of her good side, you can see she is alert and at that stage of chicken development where they look kind of like raptors rather than chickens.

Zombirella, a rich golden brown pullet, looks out through the bars of the cat carrier in an interested fashion.  You can see the feathers on the far side of her head are rumpled and also there's not as many there as there ought to be.

The large carrier is not an ideal living place for a chicken, so we’re hoping she heals quickly and can get back outside. But she’s still quite small, and the carrier is pretty big, so she has room to stretch and flap and perch and also do some scratching and pecking for her food once she has knocked it out of her dish (chickens are messy eaters).

Both bantam chicks from the last hatch have died — just failure to thrive. I have been reading exhaustively and have some ideas for the next time I set bantam eggs on incubator settings and early-life care, so hopefully we won’t have the same problem again. Although to be fair one of them I was expecting to not make it, since he hatched with the yolk-sac still attached and generally those chicks do not make it past their first weeks of life. The six blue-laced red Wyandottes that hatched have moved on to Christine’s place, leaving little Melchior, the son of Mel and Ayinnanku, to keep company with the Sumatra chicks. He is thriving and happy!

Crispin and Clementine went off to their new homes a little over a week ago now and are doing well. Constantine and Coriander are still here for another week and a half and then they, too, will be off to their new people, and Briar Rose will come in.

And meanwhile, speaking of formerly feral kittens, my friend Kate at Om Shanti Naturals has taken in the first of a litter of kittens that showed up in her back yard. So far she’s only caught the one, but vetting is expensive as we all know! So if you have been looking for some yummy hand-crafted soap, moisturizing oils, bath products, lip balms, or salves, could you putter over to the shop and pick up an item or two? You get a delicious bath product, kitten gets vetted without Kate having to live on ramen and cat hair for a month, and it’s just generally win-win all around. Om Shanti is, after all, the home of the world’s ONLY official Tink-branded and endorsed beauty product, Tink’s Tea Tree Lavender Salve, ideal for treating the minor bumps and scrapes that life deals out. There is even body wash to match although Tink has not tried it yet (she generally does not endorse any product that involves her getting a B. A. T. H. anyway — you know how diva-esque dogs can be).

So anyway, there’s the news round-up and my pitch. Hope you’re all doing well, gentle readers, and I will try to be more regular about my updates!

13 August, 2011

Sid cleared to work! Huzzah!

Siddy went to the vet yesterday for joint x-rays and has gotten the all-clear to be a mobility dog. His hips and elbows look excellent and the growth plates in his long bones are closed, so he’s good to go. That was the last hurdle I have no control over, from here on out it’s all training.

Wednesday he also went in for a bath. Usually Daniel drops him off for baths but I hit a deer Wednesday morning and was home from work dealing with my insurance company. Whee. Anyway, that meant I got a look at all the options on the bath form…

Sid, a black German Shedder, stands smiling into the camera, looking a wee bit dorkish.  Hey, what's going on with his paws....

A close-up of Sid's ginormous front paws, clearly displaying the fact that his nails have been painted shiny silver.

Yes. I had them paint my dog’s nails. You want to make something of it?? The silver nails look quite dashing against his black fur, I think. I am highly tempted to buy a bottle of dog nail polish for home use to touch them up between groomings. Although it did occur to me that gold would look better with his Service Dog gear which is all tan leather. Something to consider.

In poultry news, we lost one of the two bantam chicks who hatched out last weekend, which sucks. The other is still going pretty strong. Today we’ll be delivering the six blue-laced red wyandotte chicks to Blackthorn Kennel, where we will pick up four crele pullets for Merlin, bringing him to a grand total of six ladies. Then the bantam EE’s and the non-bearded silkies that are in the little banty pen will move into the big banty pen and Merlin and his six ladies will get their own home in the little banty pen. When the ladies start laying, we will have our own little breeder flock of creles! Stripey chickens for everyone, really.

This fall, we’ll be building a pen for Mad Mel the Magnificent and giving him the non-bearded silkie ladies for his very own so that I will have more showgirls when I want them. Then we just have to figure out how to set up breeder pens for silkies for next spring when they’re mature enough to be a breeding population! I am aiming to start showing my silkies next fall, so I need to pick the best and group them into breeding populations. Should be fun times.

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