15 January, 2011

On Choosing a Service Dog Candidate

A few people have asked, here and elsewhere, “Why not just train Zille?” since my post on a possible service dog puppy. Zille thanks you for your faith in her abilities, but it’s kind of a complicated question to answer. It boils down to Zille lacking the self-confidence in some situations that I’d need in a Service Dog; for instance walking next to traffic REALLY creeps her out, no matter how many treats are involved. Which is fine for a pet dog, but if she’s being my Walking Cane then having her swerve into me and attempt to put me between her and traffic isn’t going to work out so well.

Probably the best candidate in the house is actually Beowulf, who is steady in any public situation that does not involve food and capable of spending hours keeled over on his side alternately sleeping and staring into space while contemplating the vast mysteries of the universe, but he’s also six years old which means that his service life would be pretty limited. And I’d still need to put a lot of training on him to use him as a full-time Walking Cane because right now if I take him into a restaurant he is going to have no problem resting his enormous head on a table next to someone’s plate (whose is not important, could be me, could be the people at the next table) and attempting to explain that he’s just starving.

And even if Tink didn’t have a myriad of health issues of her own which affect her joint stability, well, her temperament is not at all suited to service doggery since she firmly believes that wherever she goes, she should be the center of attention and also she has no intention of peacefully walking next to me at my pace while I use her to stabilize myself. She has places to go, things to do, people to see.

That being said, there are things the existing dogs can do for me and I plan to teach them to do those things in order to brush up on my own training skills before a potential service puppy sets foot in the house. Zille, for instance, can easily learn to pick up things I have dropped (so I don’t have to bend over) and to go and fetch things for me. Beowulf can be my Walking Cane in situations where he is not likely to bring disgrace and disrepute on the noble profession of Service Dog, or make things harder for other service dog teams who may need access to that place in the future.

Because that’s the thing about using a service dog, business owners are going to judge future teams who visit their premises from you and your dog. A Service Dog isn’t just a pet that’s really well-behaved, it’s an exceptional dog who can handle huge numbers of situations with dignity and aplomb, make safety decisions for its partner on the fly, and be as unobtrusive as, well, an actual inanimate cane would be. If a service dog screws up, that’s going to make it that much harder for other teams to access that space without hassle, as the business owner may not have a lot of experience with service dog teams, and may think the disruptive dog’s behavior is typical, or may just not feel like taking the chance. It’s illegal to deny access to a service dog team, but that doesn’t mean some people won’t try it and not every service dog handler is going to have the energy to argue with the person trying to deny access.

Hence my decision that none of my current dogs are really appropriate for full-time service work, and that I should start with a cane at the moment, when I only really need assistance part-time, and work towards a service dog who does a better job of fitting the bill. This doesn’t mean I don’t adore my dogs, but that I am realistic about their abilities and what will make them happy. Zille would be miserable encountering new situations every day, with new and strange sights and sounds. Beowulf would violate service dog behavioral standards by begging for food (and possibly attempting to mug people for love). Tink, well, I don’t call her La Diva Tinkerbella for nothing.

14 January, 2011

Vet Bills

So today Daniel went to pick up Emmaline and Noodlehead at the vet post-spay. Yes, Emmaline should have been spayed a long time ago but there’s a long involved story in which I totally and completely spaced her spay appointment and then there was all the wedding crap but hey! It’s done now.

I asked him to find out what I’d spent at the vet in 2010. See, my vet can tell me these things. In 2008, I spent about $3500 at the vet, much of which was Rooney Lee. In 2009, I was on track to spend less than $3000 at the vet for the year, and then Zille had her partial intestinal blockage less than 48 hours after I brought her home, and that was $1300 and POOF, I spent about $3500 at the vet (although I didn’t pay for all of Zille’s hospitalization and surgery myself, thank GOD).

In 2010, all the critters were pretty healthy, but there were Stinky and Pixie Lou, two adult girls I had tested and vax’d, and then of course Intrepid, Badger, and Astute (aka Zeke, Badger, and Emmett) who got FeLV/FIV testing, treatment for an upper respiratory tract, and then vax’d and neutered. Many generous people either helped out with financial support or bought scarves, so I didn’t pay for all of it myself but it did go to the vet.

And how much money did the vet get in 2010, you’re asking? Just a little over $3500. Heh. At least I seem to be pretty consistent. That comes to a little under $300/month, averaged out, for three large dogs, three permanent cats, two foster cats, and four foster kittens (Juniper’s initial vetting happened before Christmas). Pretty good, considering that 2008′s $3500 went to two large dogs and three cats, and 2009′s $3500 went to three large dogs and three cats. So while I’m not actually reducing the amount I’m spending on vet bills, I’m at least spending less per pet pretty consistently. Heh.

That means in 2008, I spent roughly $700 per pet to keep everyone healthy. In 2009, it was a mere $583 per pet. And in 2010, I got that down to about $270 per pet. Which tells me that if I could stop the universe from compensating for healthier pets by sending me MORE CATS, I’d be in pretty good shape, vet-bill-wise.

Meanwhile, I periodically wonder why it is I can’t afford to have new windows put on the house. Oh, right, $10,500 spent at the vet over three years. That’d do it…

12 January, 2011

Ponderings and Possibilities

I generally try to keep Teh Serious out of this blog. I mean, let us face it, there are any number of Serious Blogs out there where you can read about Serious Things. You can even read about Serious Animal Related things, and if you are looking for a blog that periodically does Serious Dog (and Other Animal) related things, I highly recommend For The Pitbulls over there on the right hand side of the page under “Blogroll.”

But I’m going to break pattern here to tell you that I’ve been having chronic pain issues for years now, and they finally got bad enough over the last year that I went to the trouble of finding a doctor who is knowledgeable and respectful and listens and the consensus is that I probably have fibromyalgia, which for those of you who are not familiar means I am tired a lot, I am in pain a lot, and periodically my brain is somewhere off in left field (probably because I am tired and in pain). I’m seriously pondering getting a cane because of the balance issues I have, especially when I’m tired.

I’m also VERY seriously pondering a puppy this spring. Yes, yes, I can hear you asking if I’m nuts. But this time around I am looking at a Working Dog Puppy, with an eye towards intensively training said puppy to become a Mobile Cane and All Around Mobility Assistant. It will take two years at least, because the dog will not be able to do weight-bearing tasks until his (or her) growth plates have totally fused and he (or she) has been X-rayed and verified as sound orthopedically. There is a possibility I will spend 2 years training said puppy and … have to wash the dog out of training. Which would suck.

But I have researched Service Dog programs here in Virginia, and the two that do service dogs for Wobbly But Ambulatory people will not place a service dog in a home with pet dogs. Well, that’s not going to work, since you can have my pet dogs when you pry my gun from my cold dead fingers. The one program I found that does NOT mention automatically disqualifying people with pet dogs does not do dogs for Wobbly But Ambulatory people, only people who use wheelchairs. Well, crap.

So anyway, there is the possibility of puppy come springtime. I have my eye on a couple litters of German Shepherds due this year, looking for a puppy who is bright, people-oriented, even-tempered, and confident. A puppy who wants to work with a people like Tink wants all the pillows on the futon for her own personal use. A puppy who sees strange things and thinks “Goodness, that is odd, I should ask my person what to do about this.” A puppy who will ignore all the people in the world who think they are freakin clever to meow, bark, and call to service dogs. I will also be talking to various professional dog trainers, because it is always useful to have some professional help with this kind of in-depth, complicated training.

Or maybe I’ll chicken out, because raising a puppy, let alone one you want to be skilled enough to handle public access, is a full-time job in and of itself. We shall see, gentle readers. But there is the possibility of vicarious puppy in your future, and I wanted to warn you in case you can’t handle the cute.

11 January, 2011

Happy Birthday to La Diva Tinkerbella

She is six years old today! Mostly blind, carrying scars from various abscess surgeries, and currently half-bald yet again (we had a period of several months where I convinced her to grow hair, but she decided it was too much work), but still the most beautiful dog in the world. Yesterday she got her nails trimmed (I wheedled my friend Christine into doing it) and today she will get COOKIES and TREATS and her butt scratched whenever she wants, and also the warmest and most pillow-full place by the wood stove.

Happy birthday, Tink, and may we have many more of these celebrations together.

10 January, 2011

Speaking of chickens…

And cats, for that matter! I’ve updated the Cast of Characters page with Emmaline, Noodlehead, Matilda, Lorena, Ayinnanku, and Bebelina. Also it no longer says that Daniel lives in England, heh.

This afternoon, Action!Puppy Musket will go home to Blackthorn Kennel. We’ll miss him, the little goober (well, ok, big goober) is a handful compared to the mellow resident canines but he’s a lot of fun and his absence always leaves a hole. Juniper gets the Big Snip today, and goes home to his people this Saturday, another little goober we will be sad to see leave while still being delighted that he has a loving home just waiting for him.

9 January, 2011

Chickens: most excellent soothers.

I am not the only person to recognize this in the world, gentle readers. Today, let me link you to a piece my good friend S. E. Smith wrote over at This Ain’t Livin: Today We’re Going to Talk About Chickens.

A brief sample that will help you understand why I absolutely adore S. E.:

Try spending some time with chickens. It’s immensely cheering and soothing, as long as you aren’t the type of get all self conscious about the fact that you’re hanging out with chickens. Some people are, you know. . .

Seriously, after the news yesterday I was not feeling a happy camper. Attempts at assassination tend to harsh my mellow in a pretty serious way, along with all the rampant speculation about which/how many mental illness(es) the shooter had, I was in fact very disgruntled. And then I went out and I sat with the chickens, and there were two eggs, and the chickens did chickeny things and said “bweeek?” at me and Bebelina shyly sidled up and pecked my shoe, and I felt much better.

In other Antidotes To A Sucky World: Musket is hilarious. I spent 30 minutes yesterday throwing a ball at his face. He thinks this is the Best House Game Ever[1] and spent the entire rest of the day bringing me his ball and trying to put it in my hand. Finally I gave in and started throwing it for him. In the house. He thought that was great, too. Also, he turned a year old on…Friday, I think. To celebrate, he is lifting a leg to pee, something he didn’t do last time he stayed here. But he hasn’t quite grasped the concept that you lift the leg to pee ON something, so he’s just standing there, in the middle of the yard, with one back paw lifted about 3″ off the ground. Makes me giggle, every time.

[1] YES, CHRISTINE, AS A MATTER OF FACT I AM TEACHING MUSKET THAT FETCH IS AN INSIDE GAME. SORRY!

8 January, 2011

Apparently, I am a trend-setter. Who knew?

I listen to a lot of NPR in the car, and over the past couple of weeks they’ve had two stories, one on Morning Edition and one on Science Friday, about Not Having TV.

Which is actually pretty misleading, because what they actually meant was “how to still watch TV while not paying your cable/satellite company anymore”. The stories interested me because they made a couple of assumptions: number one, that you the listener did not actually want to cut down on the TV you watch, just your bill; and number two that you have a reliable high-speed internet connection with no meaningful bandwidth limits.

I haven’t had broadcast TV service for three years now, and now apparently it is a Big Trendy Thing? Wow, I’m on the bleeding edge of social trends. Only I can do the subjects of the NPR stories one better, because assumption number two does not hold for me. I have a satellite internet connection, which is neither reliable nor high-speed, and I can download a maximum of 12GB of data per 30-day period, so watching a ton of television via the internet, well, it is not going to work for me.

Therefore in the spirit of helping you, gentle readers, achieve Bleeding Edge of Social Trends status with me, let me offer my own suggestions on “how to quit TV” which is founded on neither of the assumptions NPR made. Ready? This may be lengthy.

Cancel your cable/satellite service.

That’s it. There you go. There will be a gap in your life for a while, where “watching TV” used to be, but it will soon be filled by things like the hobbies you will have time to acquire when you are no longer watching television. And then you can join me in being all kinds of smug and asking your spouse “Did NPR just give cancelling your cable and watching TV online a cutesy name[1]?”

To be fair, we do watch movies pretty frequently. Daniel and I specialize in watching horrifyingly bad horror films. Films so bad that not only do they not scare you, but you occasionally get a fit of the giggles. Sometimes we happen across a really good one, which makes us happy, but the horrifyingly horrible horror films are really our specialty. So yes, we do own a TV, and yes, it does get some use, but hey! we’re saving money every month by not paying the cable company, and we’re early adopters of the latest Trendy Social Behavior! It just doesn’t get any better than that.

[1] THE MORNING EDITION PIECE HAD A CUTESY NAME FOR THIS TERRIBLY TRENDY TREND. I WISH I COULD REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS.

7 January, 2011

The Return of the Entertainment!Puppy

Yesterday morning, Daniel met up with Christine to collect Blackthorn’s Musket. No, we are not keeping him for good, he’s just here for the weekend while she’s off having fun without Mr. Musketbutt. Still, it’s good to have him around, he may be a very intense sort of dog but he’s also just an all around swell guy, affectionate and interested in absolutely everything going on in the house. Daniel is looking forward to playing even more fetchy than usual[1] and I am looking forward to a second opportunity to teach Musket helpful behaviors like the Elbow-Flipping Nudge of Doom and how to escape his crate by yodeling.

The Dobes are slightly non-plussed and Tink is mad-teething like a very mad-toothed thing, but they’ll get over it and maybe when Musket goes home again they will appreciate their own quiet and laid-back Shedder. Who is, incidentally, very happy to have another Shedder to play with, although she has gained enough self-confidence to tell him off when he tries to steal her ball while playing fetch. In an appropriate manner, of course, Zille has developed into an amazing doggy diplomat.

Meanwhile, Musket finds EVERYTHING exciting, because he is that kind of dog. A cat! How exciting! Another dog! How exciting! A person! How Exciting! THE WORLD, HOW EXCITING! He really needs a Job, an official one that engages his brain and even gives him something to do with all his physical energy. Currently, he’s focusing his considerable brainpower on staring at Aida through a gate, which does not amuse Aida in the least.

In other news, I discovered when doing tags on this post that I have a “dogs suck” tag. I can’t imagine why.

[1] WHY DO MEN ENJOY THROWING THINGS? SERIOUSLY. CHRISTINE AND I HAVE DISCUSSED THIS. WE WILL THROW THINGS BECAUSE OUR DOGS ENJOY IT, BUT MEN SEEM TO GET SOME DEEP AND VISCERAL PLEASURE FROM HEAVING A BALL AND HAVING IT BROUGHT BACK TO THEM. WEIRD.

6 January, 2011

Special Extra Post: Critters What Need Homes

Three adult kitties in New England. They lost their caregiver to pancreatic cancer and need a place to go. Current caregivers willing to drive them anywhere within Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Maine, etc.

A bunny in California would like a forever home. This adorable little bugger was dumped outside. What is wrong with people? She is safe now but needs a forever home of her very own.

As a note, I don’t have either of these guys, so if you’re interested, please contact the current caretakers on the linked posts!

Random Chicken Update

Matilda: Top hen. Laying reliably through the winter, we’re getting an egg pretty much every day from her. Very concerned that any food coming to chickens come to her first.

Lorena: Second in command. Laying sort of reliably through the winter, she gives us one egg every 2-3 days. Deeply charming and likes to stand and go “bweek” at you through the enclosure.

Ayinnanku: Social climber. Will probably supersede Lorena and may unseat Matilda some day. Has not yet started laying.

Bebelina: Petite, sweet little chicken who likes you to offer her food from your hand. Not at all interested in social status, just in scratching and pecking for food. Has not yet started laying.

Eggs: to date, Matilda and Lorena have furnished us with 47 eggs. Almost 4 dozen! I updated the egg spreadsheet, it now debits the chickens for the cost of their accommodations and feed, but automatically credits them for each egg we didn’t have to buy because they laid one. This means that we are down to $17.17 per egg as of 1800 on Wednesday, 5 January. Of course, with the cost of commercial cage-free (non-organic) eggs at $0.27 each, it will take approximately 1500 eggs if we never spend another penny on chickens before the cost of our eggs matches that of commercial eggs.

On the other hand, in terms of sitting and watching chickens be chickens, and eating eggs knowing that the chickens in question get to peck and scratch and dust bathe and hunt for bugs and things, well, those eggs are way worth it. Also it’s kind of cool to be able to say I just ate a $34 omelet.

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