I got 99 problems…

…they are all Tink.

This is only funny if you know the song by rap artist Jay-Z. Ahem.

So we have Noodlehead and Juniper inside. They are NEW AND FASCINATING CATS. Tink has a thing, you see. Cats she has lived with for a while, these are OLD AND BORING CATS. Tink can successfully ignore Roo, Brax, Aida, and even Emmaline, although mostly she ignores Emms because of catching claws to the nose one too many times.

Noods and Junie, though, my God. Tink is FASCINATED. She wants to follow them around staring at them. She wants to sniff their butts intrusively. She wants to sniff their ears even more intrusively than their butts. I do not know what it is about Tink and ears, but she has this fixation.

So a lot of the day goes like this:
Juniper: *enters room*
Tink: O HAI NEW AND FASCINATING CAT!
Juniper: MY GOD I JUST GOT A GIANT NOSE UP THE BUTT!
Me: Tink, leave it.
Tink: BUTBUTBUT CAT!
Me: I don’t care. Leave it.
Tink: BUT CAT!
Juniper: THAT TONGUE JUST TOUCHED MY BRAIN!
Tink: I LOVE YOU NEW CAT!
Juniper: I WILL KILL YOU WITH DEATH AND FIERCE!
Tink: HEEEEE! LITTLE CAT TRIED TO KILL ME!
Me: I said LEAVE IT.
Tink: Fine.
Five minutes: *passes*
Noodlehead: *enters room*
Tink: O HAI NEW AND FASCINATING CAT!
Noodlehead: I will kick your ass.
Me: Tink, she will kick your ass.
Tink: SHE WON’T I LOVE HER.
Noodlehead: I mean it. Ass-kicking in 10…9….8…
Me: Tink, leave it, seriously, you’re going to lose an eye.
Tink: THEY’RE NOT MUCH USE ANYWAY I WANT TO LICK HER EARS.
Me: Tink, I said lea–
Noodlehead: DIE WITH DEATH AND CLAWS AND TEETH INFIDEL.
Tink: *with bleeding nose* Maybe I should have thought that one through…

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Comments (4) | Dialogues,Life at the Manor — Tags: , , — Andrea @ 0405 on 4 January, 2011

4 Responses to “I got 99 problems…”

  1. Selma
    1118 on January 4th, 2011

    Laughing! Tears of laughter in my eyes!

  2. Liz
    1929 on January 4th, 2011

    Having dog who is as cat-curious as Tink, your dialogue will be playing in my head from time to time!

    Great stuff. Thanks for the laughs!

  3. Charline
    1719 on January 5th, 2011

    Can I just say that your descriptions of animal interactions generally result in some sort of liquid on my monitor? :D

    Also, have you heard the remix of 99 Problems with Voodoo Chile? It…works somehow.

  4. thediva-laments
    1041 on January 6th, 2011

    I love it when you publish animal dialogue. I was just laughing so loudly I made fiance read it. I hope Tink’s nose has healed. And her ego.

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