Spring is in the air

The scene: Manor of Mixed Blessings, 1830. Your humble narrator is in the living room at the computer. Dogs and cats are arranged variously according to their whims.

Zille: I has a ball.
Me: You sure do. What a nice ball.
Zille: Make the ball go.
Me: No. You ate a mere 30 minutes ago and I do not wish you to bloat and die.
Zille: At least if I die playing fetch, I’ll die happy. Make the ball go.
Me: No. We don’t play fetch in the house with that ball[1] anyway.
Tink: I have to pee.
Me: You tell lies. You want to bark at something.
Tink: I never lie.
Me: You lie all the time about having to pee so I’ll let you bark at things.
Zille: Make the ball go.
Tink: I gotta PEE.
Beowulf: Are we goi– SQUIRREL!!! SQUIRREL!!!!
Tink: SQUIRREL!?
Zille: MAKE THE BALL GO DAMMIT.
Me: WE ARE NOT GOING OUTSIDE YOU WILL ALL DIE OF BLOAT. WHICH WOULD SERVE YOU RIGHT BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL OBNOXIOUS.[2]
Time: *passes, as it does*

Zille: Is it fetchy time NOW?
Tink: I gotta PEEEEE.
Beowulf: Is something interesting going to happen?
Me: What time is it?
Zille: FETCHY TIME.
Tink: PEEING TIME.
Beowulf: LOVE EMERGENCY.
Me: No time for love, Dr. Jones. It’s been an hour and we are going OUTSIDE.
Chorus of Canines: OUTSIIIIIDE YAY!
Jubilation. Exeunt omnes.

[1] WE DO HAVE A HOUSE FETCHY BALL, WHICH IS JUST A SPHERICAL STUFFY. ZILLE NINJA’D IT INTO HER MOUTH ONE DAY AT PETSMART SO I FELT OBLIGATED TO BUY IT FOR HER.

[2] I DON’T REALLY THINK THEY DESERVE TO DIE OF BLOAT.

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Comments (1) | Dialogues — Tags: , , — Andrea @ 2052 on 19 March, 2010

One Response to “Spring is in the air”

  1. Selma
    1237 on March 24th, 2010

    The post supper, play time/pee time/outsidey time dialogues are just HILARIOUS. My eyes start to water with laughter before I even start to laugh!

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